Kitchen Rookie Gifts

'I just need enough to send my Dad to cookery lessons!'

'Thank goodness for salt and pepper.'

"You had to know I meant add cooking oil, junior. . . not motor oil!"

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

"An untested recipe. An uncalibrated oven. Substituted ingredients. And yet, the cake...the cake is...magnificent!"

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

Lockdown casserole

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

Boy with bat using toaster to launch bread for him to practise hitting

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

Bedtime Stories with Gordon Ramsay

Husband bakes a pie

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

'Preparing rocket salad isn't domestic science, ladies.'

I made you a cake!

"Oh we're fine, my husbands just learning to cook during the quarantine."

'Mom! Dad's eating my science fair project!'

"I think the 'Exotic Recipe' diet will make me lose weight. I'm running all over town trying to find the ingredients!"

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

Tzatzikicicle

"Was there a photo in the recipe book? I'd love to see what it's meant to look like."

"Gigot de sept heures."

The Inexperienced Cook

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"