Restaurant Rookie Gifts

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

Advanced footsie

'I was hoping for a better bonus this year.'

"Honey, have you seen my onions?"

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

"What kind of biscuits are they?"

"So, you want me to go all the way back to the kitchen just to get you a menu...? Couldn't I just give you a link to our, online menu?!"

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

Platter confusion.

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

"....and hold the garlic."

'Whatever he's eating.'

'Enjoy your meal - but be warned we have a very bad tempered chef.'

"Sir, we serve pancakes 297 ways. We don't do plain toast."

"I could have sworn I had three sausages!"

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

"He's my cousin. It's just until he can find a new restaurant to work in."

"Our cook caught today's special. What makes it so special is that we have no idea what it is. We're coping it's edible."

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

'There was sizzle but no steak.'

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

Gone to lunch back in 10 mins.

'Hey, I told you this place wasn't easy to get into.'

'You forgot your glasses again, didn't you?'