Restaurant Rookie Pillows

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

Advanced footsie

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

'I was hoping for a better bonus this year.'

"Honey, have you seen my onions?"

"What kind of biscuits are they?"

"So, you want me to go all the way back to the kitchen just to get you a menu...? Couldn't I just give you a link to our, online menu?!"

"I can't even remember what we were fighting about."

"I'm very health conscious. I only eat animals that are vegetarians"

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

"Why don't I clang some utensils, make 3 grilled cheese sandwiches and we call it an early night?"

"....and hold the garlic."

'Enjoy your meal - but be warned we have a very bad tempered chef.'

Platter confusion.

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

'Whatever he's eating.'

"Sir, we serve pancakes 297 ways. We don't do plain toast."

"I could have sworn I had three sausages!"

Waiter: 'I'm not really a waiter, I'm an actor. I'll act like I'm waiting on you.'

"He's my cousin. It's just until he can find a new restaurant to work in."

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

Gone to lunch back in 10 mins.

"Our cook caught today's special. What makes it so special is that we have no idea what it is. We're coping it's edible."

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

'There was sizzle but no steak.'

'Hey, I told you this place wasn't easy to get into.'

'You forgot your glasses again, didn't you?'

Novox Pizza - Fastest delivery in town.