New Job At A Restaurant Pillows

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

'There was sizzle but no steak.'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"The fish sticks here are very good."

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

Burger Queen: The Patriarchy is Dead.

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

'and on the Kids' Menu, we have Cranky Pants French Toast...'

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"How fresh is the calamari?"

"She'll have a Shirley Temple, and I'll have a Shirley Temple's mother."

"Waiter, there's a weapon of mass destruction in my soup!"

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.