New Job At A Restaurant Prints

Party of two? No, it was quite a large party.

'There was sizzle but no steak.'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"The fish sticks here are very good."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

Man sees sign as he exits bathroom: 'Employees Often Wash Hands'.

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."

"Ladies first. Actually, it's safety first. But ladies are definitely a close second."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"She'll have a Shirley Temple, and I'll have a Shirley Temple's mother."

"Waiter, there's a weapon of mass destruction in my soup!"

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"How fresh is the calamari?"

'and on the Kids' Menu, we have Cranky Pants French Toast...'

"I come here for the pepper."

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.