Culinary Irony Fan Pillows

"Fascinating. And I picked up four Pokemon in there."

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

Cambridge dons eat a banquet outside to prove they only get one chicken each.

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

"Actually, it wasn't so bad. One minute I was standing in line at the slaughterhouse...The next thing I knew, I was being basted in my own juices..."

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

'You keep turning them out and I'll dig a parking garage.'

'I want my lectures to have entertainment value.'

Free Range Chickens

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

"And here you have a brown thing next to something greenish, with some sort of brown runny stuff underneath it."

'In case of fire, don't panic. Pay your bill then leave.'

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

Organic foods stand manned by stallholder using fly spray.

Shrimp cook

'People soup again?'

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

Customer tangled up in velvet rope is trying to ring bell for help.

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

'I'm afraid I'll have to get rid of you Simpkins. You're not good for business.'

Hot Dog... Flavored meat-like substances

'No! No! No! I don't want to die. . . Then why are you carrying that enormous scythe?'

Seminar on Obesity in the Workplace.

'I never see the dog complain about my cooking.'

"Fancy a take-a-way tonight ?"

The Cheese God

A Cold Snap

RADA canteen, "Lead roll, support rolls"

'The Cod's off, but you can have whale and chips.'

"I used to be a foodie. Now I'm a fussy glutton."

"They're quite fatty, so to relieve your guilt I made sure they taste terrible."