Ironic Gastronomy Fan Pillows

"I never thought I'd be saying this, but I'd like some hospital food."

'Nowadays we want all our food to be ethically sourced, Personally I'd be happy if it was all chocolated sauced,'

Before/After

Filet minion

Lockdown casserole

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

Waiter: 'Your Tossed salad Ma'am.'

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

'I thought a perfect martini would cover the 'well balanced' requirement of my night to cook.'

Organic foods stand manned by stallholder using fly spray.

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

Murderous Chef

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

"Man does not live by chips alone. There's also guacamole."

"The other waiters just spit in the food of rude customers, not in their faces!"

'Apparently, the carrot cake really is to die for.'

The Chef's dumplings were his speciality.

'So this is a kitchen!'

'I tried the new restaurant today: they have a three course menu...'

"You're not totally useless around the house - you make a great appetite suppressant."

All our meals digest easily forming a soft, mushy stool with just a hint of acridity.

'Whale DNA was added to my embryo and now all I crave is plankton.'

'Do you happen to have a scratch-and-sniff menu?'

"There's a little jelly or something on your chin."

Dinner at the Mortgage Restaurant.

'I'm afraid I'll have to get rid of you Simpkins. You're not good for business.'

Seminar on Obesity in the Workplace.

'I never see the dog complain about my cooking.'

Where 'Stewed Tomatoes' come from.

"Every night it's Roll Play with you."

"Are you gonna eat that garlic bread?"