Ironic Dinner Enthusiast Pillows

'Hello dear, have I kept you waiting long?'

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"The salad should be delicious. We ordered it with lots of extra bacon bits."

"Your mother texted us that you're not getting enough to eat, so I brought you twice what you ordered."

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

'Look, I'll be brief. I love you, let's eat and hit the sack.'

Friends of the Royal Academy - Annual Dinner

"This is all very romantic, but I can't see my fork."

This must be the address where Joe and Maureen are throwing the dinner party!

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

"Certainly. A party of four at seven-thirty in the name of Dr. Jennings. May I ask whether that is an actual medical degree or a Ph.D.?"

'A formal inquiry could take months, sir, and still be inconclusive.'

Woman meets up with guru: 'Oh, there you are, honey. Dinner's getting cold.'

'I'm afraid I'll have to get rid of you Simpkins. You're not good for business.'

Lunch Broker

Dinner at the Mortgage Restaurant.

Bob ordered the breakfast special of bacon with two eggs served any way he wanted.

Seminar on Obesity in the Workplace.

'It's Labor Day. Mom expects you to take us out to dinner.'

Mom prepares a family dinner

"They're quite fatty, so to relieve your guilt I made sure they taste terrible."

"Examine the bottle? Sniff the cork? At these prices why am I doing all the work?"

"Just as I thought. Beans on toast, so I dressed for dinner."

'If you haven't got a low fat, organic, calorie free, ethically produced, free range option... I'll have the double chocolate cheesecake.'

Cuckoo Clock - Cat waiting for it's dinner!

'Try to finish it all, our dog ran away.'

"You see why I hate talking about politics during meals?"

'May I caution that the term 'Happy meal' refers to the meal itself rather than to any effect it may have.'

Rice Cakes Gone Wild

"Excuse me waiter. I think my wife's squid is a little under-cooked."

'What's the soup of the day?' 'Heinz.'

"We would LOVE to have you for dinner!"

'For dinner. . .? Something spicy but not too spicy - with noodles and cheddar. . . this is good too.'