Quirky Gastronomy Fan Pillows

Fish and Chips - "Could you please blow into this bag for me, Sir?"

Before/After

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

Tzatzikicicle

"All our vegetables are organic, ethically sourced and stunned before being boiled."

"Who ordered the moose en croute?"

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

Kentucky Fried Horse

"So, I went into this fancy new butcher shop and they were selling ostrich of all things!"

"It's a combination of pizza and sushi and taco and egg roll and...it's just something everyone loves."

'I'll have one regular cheese-burger from column 'A', and one negative-calories cheese-burger from column 'B'.'

"Is it me, or would a dung beetle taste really good right now?"

'I don't eat red meat. That's ok, this is gone green.'

Early bird special - Grilled Pterodactyl.

De ja vu soup - 'It was yesterday's 'soup of the day'.'

Our Troubled Chowders

Okay... which one of you ordered the holy mackerel?

Fast Food Restaurant

'What on earth is this? Hedgehog soup.'

How is your soup, sir? Speaking for myself, it looks pretty good. I can't speak for the fly, of course.

'How d'you want your eggs - down your pants, over your head...?'

Octopi a la mode.

"Is everything all right? Any reactions to the irradiated carrots, the transgenic tomatoes, or the antibiotics in the chicken?"

"Be right with you - just need to call for a tow truck and change today's 'Catch of the Day' to venison."

"The insect menu is very popular nowadays."

Roadkill Restaurant

Suddenly Harold froze, trying to remember if he had ordered a side of roaches, or if this was a gross violation of public healthcare policy.

"Nice going, Larry. They're going in after your liverwurst and sardine sandwich that fell behind the fridge last month."

Eye of Newt Helper

What can I get you? Coffee? Tea? Sandwich? The mackerel mocha sounds lovely. What's in it? The usual. Chocolate. Soy milk. Mackerel. Yes, but is the mackerel farm-raised or from the sea? Ocean. Atlantic? Pacific? Indian? Arctic? Antarctic? I'm not sure. Oh. Ok ... well what's the mackerel's mercury content? Negligible, I'm sure. Ok. Was it exposed to any chlorine? Or copper sulphate? Or malathion? Was it treated with kindness? Was it read stories and sung to before bedtime? Yes. Never mind, it s

'O.K. Smarty Pants, here's your fish, cheese, egg, strawberry jam and pickle sandwich with a topping of ice cream and mustard. Pay up!'

Salad Hat

"Hey, do we have strawberries crushed in cream cheese?"

Spy microchips in Chinese instant noodles