Comic Gastronomy Fan Pillows

Waiter: 'Your Tossed salad Ma'am.'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

'I brew it myself.'

'The stuff legends are made of'

Large Very Fresh Eggs

"Keep it in the sling and rub hot sauce on our wing every 4 hours."

'Well, that's the last of the garlic repellent.'

Road Kill Cafe.

'Deputy, I asked 'when are you going to a restaurant?' Not 'arrest your aunt'.'

Grand rounds vs. ground rounds.

Lemon beelzebub for table 666

'Aw, cool! Look! They got us a hot tub!'

"You know what would compliment this meal? A nice vintage milk of magnesia"

'Who ordered the mushy peas?

'In a four-star restaurant, one's hat does not fall into the cassoulet de castenaudary. But if ones hat does fall into the cassoulet de castelnaudary, one does not put it back on one's head.'

Menu From The Luxury Home of Pancakes

'A dozen bagels, please. For here.'

"Fancy a take-a-way tonight ?"

"That's it, deep fried or mashed. Do you want a job or not?"

'This the plan...we will make the clients think that there is a contest, and the winner will be the first one who finds a finger in the soup.'

'What price range did you have in mind?'

'Sorry general, but this is a four star restaurant.'

'Hey! My Chili is Chilly!' 'I'll add some Chilies!'

"Keep that recipe handy. The police might want it as evidence."

'Thinner!'

"I fear this place is going downhill."

'Sorry,Sir - we only have the one.'

"Hold on ... I think a table's about to open up."

'... And you're positive that you didn't order, fly soup?'

'Tch! We're not eating Mexican again, are we?' 'Well, I'd look pretty silly going into an Italian restaurant dressed like this.'

"I think the the students are going to like your buffet. The bread looks fresh...the potatoes look creamy...and the attendant looks heavenly!"

"I'm making dirty rice."

'Yes Sir that is the lowest calorie dish on the menu, the chef has even eaten the fish for you. He says it was wonderful.'