Foodie With Irony Pillows

"The service here is terrible, but I don't mind. . . the food is terrible."

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

Man says: 'Great pizza, but the mozzarella was a bit stringy.'

Cambridge dons eat a banquet outside to prove they only get one chicken each.

'This is gluten free, isn't it?'

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

Free Range Chickens

Ranch Dressing

"Mom, what kind of soup do we eat when we're sick?"

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'

Organic foods stand manned by stallholder using fly spray.

'Of course, I buy only organic foods... I like to be environmentally friendly.'

Shrimp cook

"Just keep your eyes closed - it'll only upset you."

'The store was out of bread, so instead I bought bagels.'

'Home-made pie will be quick, I only live 10 minutes from here.'

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

"Our special today? Hot wings!!"

"Trust you to pick a restaurant that serves indigestion tablets rather than after dinner mints."

'I'm afraid I'll have to get rid of you Simpkins. You're not good for business.'

"Oh, no thank you. I’m rumaki-free."

Seminar on Obesity in the Workplace.

"But Kevin, why can't we have a proper jacuzzi like next door?"

'Surgeon General's warning on junk food! Lighten up a little!'

'Do you have anything that's not fried?'

'Andy STILL hasn't got the hang of spaghetti..'

"They're quite fatty, so to relieve your guilt I made sure they taste terrible."

'I spent the afternoon over a $500 lunch explaining how bad business is.'

'Brace yourself, dear. The doctor says I'm allergic to lousy cooking.'

"You all here? Sonny Primero? Big Guiseppe? Carmine? Al Fresco? Wait, where's Al Fresco?" "He's outside."

'Waiter, please bring that glass of water soon.'