Foodie With Irony Pillows

"The service here is terrible, but I don't mind. . . the food is terrible."

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

'Would you care for some fresh pepper? Well too bad, because all we have is these dried up old peppercorns.'

Man says: 'Great pizza, but the mozzarella was a bit stringy.'

Cambridge dons eat a banquet outside to prove they only get one chicken each.

'This is gluten free, isn't it?'

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

Free Range Chickens

Organic foods stand manned by stallholder using fly spray.

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

'Careful, the plate is really hot.'

"Mom, what kind of soup do we eat when we're sick?"

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

Ranch Dressing

'Of course, I buy only organic foods... I like to be environmentally friendly.'

Shrimp cook

'The store was out of bread, so instead I bought bagels.'

'Home-made pie will be quick, I only live 10 minutes from here.'

"Our special today? Hot wings!!"

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

'I'm afraid I'll have to get rid of you Simpkins. You're not good for business.'

"Trust you to pick a restaurant that serves indigestion tablets rather than after dinner mints."

"Oh, no thank you. I’m rumaki-free."

Seminar on Obesity in the Workplace.

"But Kevin, why can't we have a proper jacuzzi like next door?"

'Surgeon General's warning on junk food! Lighten up a little!'

'Andy STILL hasn't got the hang of spaghetti..'

'Waiter, please bring that glass of water soon.'

"They're quite fatty, so to relieve your guilt I made sure they taste terrible."

'Do you have anything that's not fried?'

"You all here? Sonny Primero? Big Guiseppe? Carmine? Al Fresco? Wait, where's Al Fresco?" "He's outside."

'I spent the afternoon over a $500 lunch explaining how bad business is.'

'Brace yourself, dear. The doctor says I'm allergic to lousy cooking.'

'If you haven't got a low fat, organic, calorie free, ethically produced, free range option... I'll have the double chocolate cheesecake.'