Culinary Cartoon Fan Gifts

One day Mike and a handful of other termites happened upon a turkey sandwich,,, after that it was pretty hard to go back to wood,

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

"That's two tossed salads, one egg drop soup, and one pulled pork."

Now we know --- It's good for making toast, not good for heating up meatloaf!

Waiter: 'Your Tossed salad Ma'am.'

'The stuff legends are made of'

Large Very Fresh Eggs

'Well, that's the last of the garlic repellent.'

'Deputy, I asked 'when are you going to a restaurant?' Not 'arrest your aunt'.'

"Apologies for the delay. Your eggs Benedict should be up soon."

"Hmmm, I'm not sure – I’ll ask our chef when he sobers up."

Lemon beelzebub for table 666

"Keep it in the sling and rub hot sauce on our wing every 4 hours."

Road Kill Cafe.

Grand rounds vs. ground rounds.

'Aw, cool! Look! They got us a hot tub!'

"With this table monitor, you can watch the chefs prepare your meal. Look, another slice of frozen lasagna being microwaved."

'In a four-star restaurant, one's hat does not fall into the cassoulet de castenaudary. But if ones hat does fall into the cassoulet de castelnaudary, one does not put it back on one's head.'

'I think the microwave has finally given up the ghost.'

'Who ordered the mushy peas?

Cedric instantly regretted 'pumping up the jam...'

'A dozen bagels, please. For here.'

"Fancy a take-a-way tonight ?"

"That's it, deep fried or mashed. Do you want a job or not?"

The Cheese God

RADA canteen, "Lead roll, support rolls"

'Waiter, please bring that glass of water soon.'

"I fear this place is going downhill."

"Look, I’m sorry - it’s not Asian fusion night!"

"Pepper spray?"