Cue Wizard T-Shirts

Play golf on the billiards table.

'He's even better when he takes the cue out of it's case.'

"Home depot."

Newt sale

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

'I like you, you've got balls.'

"Sorry, my report is blank. I just stayed home, watched tv and played video games during vacation."

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is, he died laughing before he could tell anybody.

"Victims of out-sorcery."

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

Remember, honey, abracadabra doesn't work anymore. Now it's command, option, shift.

Can I go to the Computer Tennis Camp?

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

"I see a couch."

Merlin realizes too late that he shouldn't be hexing while driving.

"I still say they've overdone the anti-aging CGI."

'Pause your games, kids! There's a high fly ball deep to center field!'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"What I should have done during vacation besides watching video games. . ."

"Okay brother Bickle, you can keep your underpants on"

'Your resume looks good. Let me hear some of your incantations.'

Club DJ.

'Now that's what I CALL a spectacle case.'

'Congratulations, its a six pound audio technician.'

'Have no fear - I'll have the project completed for you in no time.'

'What's the situation about new wands these days?' - 'You can't beat 'compare wands.com.'

Snooker.