Cue Wizard Pillows

Play golf on the billiards table.

'He's even better when he takes the cue out of it's case.'

"Home depot."

Newt sale

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

'I like you, you've got balls.'

"Sorry, my report is blank. I just stayed home, watched tv and played video games during vacation."

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is, he died laughing before he could tell anybody.

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

Remember, honey, abracadabra doesn't work anymore. Now it's command, option, shift.

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

"Victims of out-sorcery."

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

Can I go to the Computer Tennis Camp?

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

"I see a couch."

Merlin realizes too late that he shouldn't be hexing while driving.

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

'Your resume looks good. Let me hear some of your incantations.'

"Okay brother Bickle, you can keep your underpants on"

'Pause your games, kids! There's a high fly ball deep to center field!'

Club DJ.

"What I should have done during vacation besides watching video games. . ."

"I still say they've overdone the anti-aging CGI."

'Now that's what I CALL a spectacle case.'

Snooker.

'What's the situation about new wands these days?' - 'You can't beat 'compare wands.com.'

'Congratulations, its a six pound audio technician.'

"Wait. Let me have one more try."