Turnaround Wizard T-Shirts

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'You'll be happy to see that I've finally managed to turn things around.'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

Patent Attorney (invisible man)

"I know you think this sort of thing is nonsense sir, and I hate to prove you wrong. But according to my crystal ball, you're not going to give me the raise I'm about to ask for."

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

'Not only will it do the work of ten people, it will scare 40% more work out of the rest of the employees.'

"Thankfully, this year, the results can be attributed to something other than our own gross incompetence."

"I've brought companies back from the brink of disaster before Phil, but to bring one back from the dead? I'm still patting myself on the back over that one!"

'We'll talk later, Ed, but for now we have a quick and dirty solution to your objections.'

"You're right. I have to come up with a brake of some kind."

Dung Beetle Pottery Class.

Start the session by doing something unusual.

math faculty

Girl Scout cookies selling the girl scout.

Illogic Tree

I got the raise

Psychic car mechanics.

"Have you tried switching it off and on again?"

'So Roger, how's your invention going?'

"As you insist everything must be in triplicate, meet my new secretaries."

"It's a nice invention, but what about GRIDLOCK?"

The Solution!

'See that? A pile of twigs! That's how you end up if you don't stretch properly before the game.'

'Thank you for calling Tech Support. Your computer is one month old. We no longer support that model. Good day.'

'He's even better when he takes the cue out of it's case.'

'Thrower here has always been one to push the envelope.'