Mystical Workplace Wizard T-Shirts

"I know you think this sort of thing is nonsense sir, and I hate to prove you wrong. But according to my crystal ball, you're not going to give me the raise I'm about to ask for."

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

Business meeting, CEO is dressed strangely as he asks: 'Any questions?'

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

Desk trays - 'In', 'Out', and 'It depends'.

'I think it's time to rein in Henderson.'

"It's my intelligence, talent and hard work that have got me to the top."

Research and Development: Now, Never.

'Should be home soon. I'm just clearing away the usual paperwork.'

Stationery Shop

In - Out - Pending.

"The team needs LEADERSHIP, anyone have a view on that?"

'My multi-tasking turned into faulty-tasking.'

"Now that we have these Earthlings in our power, we can take over this planet!"

Man with post it note

"Gosh, 'inept' seems so harsh. Personally, I prefer the term 'productivity-challenged!'"

'Not only will it do the work of ten people, it will scare 40% more work out of the rest of the employees.'

"We feel you're over analyzing things a bit too much."

Tie Rolls

"Wentworth, could I take another look at that reorganization plan?"

"I've made a list of lists we need to make."

"Who ever said 'there's a time and a place for everything' never worked in this office!"

File Cabinets for Perfectionists

'We'll talk later, Ed, but for now we have a quick and dirty solution to your objections.'

"Now that we have 10,000 employees we need a search function to find them."

'He wants to hear the siren voices of the consultants.'

"At work, we've switched to video calls for meetings, so my productivity has shot up exponentially. . ."

'He was always too busy to sit for his portrait.'

'Bring me an in basket and an out basket and some paperwork to shuffle between them.'

'The last Doctor to go into medical records has still not been found.'