Cue Stick Enthusiast Gifts

'Ease up a bit on the cue ball.'

"You said 'Let's shoot Paul!'"

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

'I like you, you've got balls.'

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

"It's exhausting trying to keep him from throwing away perfectly good sticks."

"Honestly, I prefer stick."

"The blaze has taken hold on the eight floor Chief. The C.E.O., V.P. and C.O.O. are trapped in the boardroom!!"

Snooker.

"You don't need English on every shot."

'Hold it, you can cancel that STAT call.'

'He's even better when he takes the cue out of it's case.'

'Maybe if you make it smaller, put something soft on the end and come up with a better name than 'Cue-Tip'...'

'I find it more effective to walk softly and carry a BIGGER stick.'

'Assuming moral absolutes - good dog.'

"Five ball in the corner pocket." "Me in the side pocket!"

'Am I bald?'

Play golf on the billiards table.

Birds cue ball escape.

Two men attempt to use the same snooker cue.

"Let me through - I'm a data analyst!"

'I know, I know. You're stripes. I get it, already.'

Stuck behind the eight ball.

"I glued myself to a snooker ball."

Snooker player with telescopic sight fitted to his cue.

Snooker Channel.

"Look, here's one that comes with batteries."

"What did you say? Fine? Five? File? Oh...FIRE!!"

"Hello, is this 999?"

"I don't recognize the first two fellers, but I'm pretty sure the one on the right is the Hop-A-Long Kid."

'The Alternative Minimum Tax. I have no alternative but to pa it, and it's the maximum amount I've got to pay.'

"The stick maker!"

Spy with selfie stick

"I don't fetch sticks, I acquire them."