Cue Stick Virtuoso Gifts

'The Alternative Minimum Tax. I have no alternative but to pa it, and it's the maximum amount I've got to pay.'

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

'I like you, you've got balls.'

'My client has no problem with 'richer' and 'in health'. Our points of contention are 'poorer' and 'in sickness'.'

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

Does "worldly goods" include intellectual property?

'I'm a voice over artist.'

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

"...and are you, Jessica, committed to this bit?"

". . . and do you, John, give up your smug air of bemused detachment for the demands of marriage?"

Leonard Cohen

Lord of the Strings.

Two men creating themselves with a pencil and paintbrush.

Cello Composer

Snooker.

The Cello Victims

'I told you not to clean it with soap and water.'

"You don't need English on every shot."

'He's even better when he takes the cue out of it's case.'

'Wait a minute -- aren't you going to read me my rights?'

'...Love, honor, cherish, and be careful what you wish for.'

"I was kind of hoping for 'new voices' who'd also sung before."

Play golf on the billiards table.

"My communication skills are excellent, thank you. Just because nobody in the office understands Ayapaneco."

'Treat yourself to a game of pot black.'

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

"I now pronounce you 'romantically linked'."

Keep your remarks varied but within context...like listening to Pandora.

"I always knew I wanted to be a voice-over artist because, as a child, I was British."

"I remember when you could only lose a chess game to a supercomputer."

Stuck behind the eight ball.

'Ease up a bit on the cue ball.'

Screen Addict

'What do you mean, 'your bachelor party hasn't finished yet'?'

"Can you do any other impressions, apart from; John, your milkman?"