Instrument Virtuoso Gifts

'I told you not to clean it with soap and water.'

"....you there, start playing! Now! Yes, great, keep playing! Now you! Yes, you! The oboe! Go! Now! Great!"

Musician Target Practice

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

Trilby - 'A voice he didn't understand'.

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

'I thought that 'remote gizmo' was just for manoeuvring the caravan down the drive!'

"Eventually the instrument becomes an extension of your body."

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

“I’m stayin’ home — I want the world to know — I pro-bab-ly won’t go!”

House proud woman vacuums hair from dog.

"Can you teach me to really bark? I only seem to be able to yap..."

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

Beatlemania: Open 24/8

'I'm a voice over artist.'

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

"...and are you, Jessica, committed to this bit?"

Music Freak.

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

"Turn down the bass."

Piano Prompt

". . . and do you, John, give up your smug air of bemused detachment for the demands of marriage?"

'Hello, Ma'am. I'm a college graduate selling vacuum cleaners door to door to help pay for the fortune I borrowed to take a course that had nothing to do with selling vacuums... and how are you doing?'

'That's why I like Neederman. He does the little things to help his team that don't show up in the statistics.'

Franz Schubert

"It took years of vocal training, but I now have a vocal range from squeaky right down to tenor..."

'Oh, sow some interest! How many 8-year-olds can play the '1812' on a vacuum hose?'

"This is where I keep my entire music collection."

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

Colin attempts to be useful around the house didn't always have the desired effect.

Recording Studio

'Yo, Danny! The pitcher's complaining about the crowd noise. Turn it down!'