Cue Stick Virtuoso Pillows

'The Alternative Minimum Tax. I have no alternative but to pa it, and it's the maximum amount I've got to pay.'

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

'I like you, you've got balls.'

'My client has no problem with 'richer' and 'in health'. Our points of contention are 'poorer' and 'in sickness'.'

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

'I'm a voice over artist.'

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

". . . and do you, John, give up your smug air of bemused detachment for the demands of marriage?"

"...and are you, Jessica, committed to this bit?"

Snooker.

The Cello Victims

Two men creating themselves with a pencil and paintbrush.

Cello Composer

'I told you not to clean it with soap and water.'

"You don't need English on every shot."

'He's even better when he takes the cue out of it's case.'

"I was kind of hoping for 'new voices' who'd also sung before."

'Wait a minute -- aren't you going to read me my rights?'

'...Love, honor, cherish, and be careful what you wish for.'

Play golf on the billiards table.

'Treat yourself to a game of pot black.'

"My communication skills are excellent, thank you. Just because nobody in the office understands Ayapaneco."

"I always knew I wanted to be a voice-over artist because, as a child, I was British."

"I now pronounce you 'romantically linked'."

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

"I remember when you could only lose a chess game to a supercomputer."

Stuck behind the eight ball.

'Ease up a bit on the cue ball.'

'What do you mean, 'your bachelor party hasn't finished yet'?'

"Great! You're hired."

Violinist

"Can you do any other impressions, apart from; John, your milkman?"