Cue Stick Queen Pillows

"Come home, Margaret! It's your wedding night! I'm sure the lads will understand."

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

"Bed Spread"

"....And what's the deal with fetch? You want the stick or don't you? Make up your mind already!"

'I like you, you've got balls.'

I love embroidery

"What do you want to be when you blow up?"

Sew on a sequin!

Crotchet

Cleaner playing pool with brush.

"Honestly, I prefer stick."

"Yes, they've hired a professional dog-walker! Frankly, I would have preferred a dog-runner or at least a ball or stick thrower..."

'Aside from your plastic canvas projects, what else have you been doing since you retired?'

Bishop playing pool, "I like his unholier than thou attitude."

"You don't need English on every shot."

'He's even better when he takes the cue out of it's case.'

'I live in an apartment. Do you have 'Good ApartmentKeeping'?'

How scrapbookers see progress. ('I've been scrapbooking for ten years and I've got two pages done already!' 'Wow, you're fast!')

Play golf on the billiards table.

I have no problem chasing a stick. I mean, as long as it's for a good cause.

A granny tortoise with a quilted shell.

'Let's switch sides. My feet are killing me.'

"I can quit whenever I want to."

'How would you have played that last ball?'

Stuck behind the eight ball.

'Ease up a bit on the cue ball.'

"It's not cotton, honey. It's nylon quilted to polyester. The leaves and trim are twenty per cent acrylic and eighty per cent modacrylic, and the flowers are acetate. The backing is polypropylene. Go to bed."

"I glued myself to a snooker ball."

'Okay Bob, but this is the last time. . . Honestly, if that stick is so important to you, you're going to have to learn to take better care of it.'

Rusty was a very smart dog.

Housewife

"It's not the stick. It's the chase."