Cucumber Pun Lover Gifts

'Ya, I'm cool - but not as cool as a cucumber.'

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"He treated associates like he treated his plants."

"What are you in for?"

"Beans, Them Beans, Them Beans, Beans, Beans..."

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

"A little lamb please."

Val and Les could see a fork in the road but they weren't expecting a dip.

'Slices Mandy! Just slices!'

Jar wars

"Okay,let's go through this one more time. I asked for a LEMON in my water, not a LEMMING."

"Extreme? Maybe. But I have the best behaved school in the district."

"Nobody loves me." "Yeah, nobody listens to me. Not even my wife." "My kids don't respect me."

Octopi a la mode.

ACME Condiments Quality Control. The boss wants to know if you're going to pass the ketchup.

Pickled beets.

"So this bacon in my ear - d'you think it can be cured..?"

"I like a diet rich in surfers."

'Could I have a loan a cup of sugar please?'

'The vegetarians are the smug-looking ones...'

What's the difference between fast food and slow food?

'What's your favourite meal?' 'Seconds.'

Gastrique Bypass

Cover my mouth when I cough? with what?

'What fish make the best sandwich?' 'A peanut butter and jellyfish'

"I love your short-hand. It looks just like a page of wriggly worms!"

"Good news - he's in a vegetative state."

Mange tout or man get out

"Mr. Whopple, time to slow down on the veggie diet!"

"My biggest problem is squatters."

Sausage Guillotine

Corned Turtle on a Kaiser

Woman in frozen food isle see a sign: TV Dinners over a case, the dinners are marked CABLE, Dish, Analog.