Fruit Pun Enthusiast Gifts

'What's four oranges take away two oranges?'

"Nobody loves me." "Yeah, nobody listens to me. Not even my wife." "My kids don't respect me."

'Young Lady, didn't I tell you that fellow would go bad?'

"Just be yourself."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

'You have a strawberry on your nose, I'll give you some cream to put on it!'

Apple Pie Abduction

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

"Remember, you're only as old as your peel."

Peach flirting with a banana.

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

Conference Pears

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

A Creature WAS Stirring

Doctor to Banana: 'Looks like you're going to a ripe old age.'

William Tell

Apple section of supermarket - 'Granny Smith's'.

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

"Mom says I'm a super fruit."

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

Produce Market. Lots of things are going on with the produce. The tomatoes, as usual, are having a fruit or veggie identity crisis. Though it makes no sense, the apples and oranges are constantly comparing themselves to one another. The plums are happy. Any assignment or position that comes their way is always the best. That potatoes want couches, of course. And the bananas think they should run the market government. Sure, a banana republic!

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

'All right, so you've prepared your resignation . . . let me have it!'

Lovers dressed as pears

"A little lamb please."

Val and Les could see a fork in the road but they weren't expecting a dip.

'I will now read the results of my experiments in fruit genetics. . .'

"I want to try other kinds of fruit."

"Okay,let's go through this one more time. I asked for a LEMON in my water, not a LEMMING."

Octopi a la mode.

I knew from the starch we were a perfect mash.

'Eve ate the apple, and she's asking if you want to make it two out of three with oranges and bananas?'