Cucumber Pun Lover Pillows

'Ya, I'm cool - but not as cool as a cucumber.'

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"He treated associates like he treated his plants."

"Beans, Them Beans, Them Beans, Beans, Beans..."

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

"A little lamb please."

Val and Les could see a fork in the road but they weren't expecting a dip.

'Slices Mandy! Just slices!'

"Okay,let's go through this one more time. I asked for a LEMON in my water, not a LEMMING."

"Extreme? Maybe. But I have the best behaved school in the district."

"Nobody loves me." "Yeah, nobody listens to me. Not even my wife." "My kids don't respect me."

Pickled beets.

"So this bacon in my ear - d'you think it can be cured..?"

"I like a diet rich in surfers."

'Could I have a loan a cup of sugar please?'

'What's your favourite meal?' 'Seconds.'

'The vegetarians are the smug-looking ones...'

What's the difference between fast food and slow food?

Gastrique Bypass

'What fish make the best sandwich?' 'A peanut butter and jellyfish'

"Mr. Whopple, time to slow down on the veggie diet!"

Mange tout or man get out

Sausage Guillotine

"My biggest problem is squatters."

"I love your short-hand. It looks just like a page of wriggly worms!"

"Good news - he's in a vegetative state."

Corned Turtle on a Kaiser

'It tastes like ..... well, chicken.'

Woman in frozen food isle see a sign: TV Dinners over a case, the dinners are marked CABLE, Dish, Analog.