Cheesy Pun Lover Pillows

"Do you mind if I don't say cheese, I'm a vegan."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

Peach flirting with a banana.

"He refuses to use these now they've made them gender nonspecific."

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

"Think about the honey."

"I'm dating a lunar astronaut!"

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

"A little lamb please."

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

'Oil painting is fine, but I can't do watercolours, obviously...'

Val and Les could see a fork in the road but they weren't expecting a dip.

'And in conclusion...'

"You always said nothing would ever come between us."

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

ACME Condiments Quality Control. The boss wants to know if you're going to pass the ketchup.

"Do you have any marriage bread?"

"Okay,let's go through this one more time. I asked for a LEMON in my water, not a LEMMING."

Oh, that's Humpy's girlfriend, "Hunky Dory."

"In financial news, Greek shares continue their slide. Of note, International Feta Cheese continues to crumble."

Octopi a la mode.

'You tell me you're a sexual athlete and your first time at bat you strike out!'

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

Pickled beets.

"I like a diet rich in surfers."

"Of course you're bored, sweetie. It's the fin de siècle."