Gourmet Pun Lover Pillows

DAVE'S DINER, 'Well, you heard wrong, pal - We serve TERRE Haute cuisine here.'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'Let's see here... Mr. Stevens... it says you slipped in the tub and hit your head.'

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

"He refuses to use these now they've made them gender nonspecific."

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

'All right, so you've prepared your resignation . . . let me have it!'

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

You've been found guilty by a jury of your peers -- You're toast fella!

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

"It's choux pastry, not shoe pastry!"

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

"A little lamb please."

Val and Les could see a fork in the road but they weren't expecting a dip.

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

Onion Guillotine

Octopi a la mode.

I knew from the starch we were a perfect mash.

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

"Okay,let's go through this one more time. I asked for a LEMON in my water, not a LEMMING."

ACME Condiments Quality Control. The boss wants to know if you're going to pass the ketchup.

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

Pickled beets.

"I like a diet rich in surfers."

"Waiter, there aren't any flies in my soup!"

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

"So this bacon in my ear - d'you think it can be cured..?"

"Of course you're bored, sweetie. It's the fin de siècle."