Cubs Devotee Gifts

"I can't lose reception during a cubs game! Anything could happen in that time!"

"Winter is coming, and there will be months without much sunshine, so it's important that you take your vitamin D supplement Darling..."

Vendor selling testosterone.

The bovine who jumped over the news went on to a great career w/ the Bulls!

The Great Blues Heron, Live at the Sandbar

'He's the bluesman's bluesman.'

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

'Honest, sir. I'm sorry! I take it all back.'

"...And don't give me that 'I hope his precious little Blackhawks lose' look either!"

"Edgar isn't here. He's working out with the Dallas Cowboys."

Ahhh, spring baseball.

"Yin and Yankee fan"

"Phil, could I speak to you for a moment, not as your doctor but as your horse?"

'I envisioned them praying to something entirely different.'

"Sure I know there are more important things than football. There's Baseball, basketball, hockey..."

"Should we have dinner now, or are you watching in real time?"

"But that's the beauty of the game. At this very moment, your absurd vicarious defeat is being perfectly counterbalanced by some opposing fan's absurd vicarious triumph."

Who should have been nominated to baseball's hall of fame 2013...

'I warned them. I said, if you allow one fan to scatter the ashes of loved ones, it's just going to open the floodgates.'

I love Kung Fu.

"Whoa! Now Philly has the bases loaded with one out!..."

"In my spare time I'm a doctor."

Red Sox Fans vs The Rest Of Humanity

'...Baseball bats, gentlemen, are sacred objects. We do not dress them up in doll clothing.'

'There it goes, there it goes, there it goes...'

'It's a slightly more advanced version of fetch.'

Football prayers.

"Look, I can't talk dude—Megan is leaving me and—what? I can still draft Aaron Judge? What about Ohtani? Check. I'll hold."

"Here on the Cape, Mitchell favors ethnic garb."