Yankees Devotee Gifts

"If the Yankees move to New Jersey, will you be going, too?"

Chauffeurs smaller headstone next to boss's big headstone

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

Vendor selling testosterone.

'He followed me home. Can I keep him?'

"He's starting to flag a bit"

'I'm detoxing - do you have any mineral water?'

"We really have to catch up on our New Yorkers."

"I guess people want dogs with no problems. Lucky for me, all I've got is quirks."

"They'd sold out of #1's."

Ahhh, spring baseball.

"Yin and Yankee fan"

'I love it when the ice rushes to my head.'

'I would love to play in your tree-house, but I can't climb trees...'

"Presenting a Few of New York Curiosities"

At the CD shop.

"I can't hear you. Are you playing with the dog again?"

"So far, I've taught him to fetch."

Elvis' autopsy

"Let's show Mr. Steinbrenner what you can do."

Yankee Stadium.

Lionel Hampton and Chuck Berry

'Heaven...Hell...Who cares? You're Jim Morrison.'

Captive Audience.

Sports Memorabilia. It's not an autograph. It's a drawing scribbled by Mickey Mantle. A Yankee doodle!

'I can't stay mad at him, especially when he scratches me behind the ears.'

"Alas, poor Yorkie! I knew him well."

'Take me to your David Bowie exhibition.'

"You won't find a better breed if it's affection you're looking for."

'You can be President when you grow up. I'm going to make a lot of money playing shortstop for the Yankees.'

"Whoa! Now Philly has the bases loaded with one out!..."

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, Why are you a Yankees fan? Purple pinstripes are WAY better than blue ones. Go Rockies! See ya in the series this year! -Love, prettyinpurple. *(Actual reader letter) Ask Sadie at rudy@rudypark.com. Why do I like the Yankees, Rudy? Dunno. Why do I like Cuban cigars, 100-year-old port, John Wayne, Albert Einstein rubbing my feet while I bathe in salt from THE DEAD SEA?! Um ... Why must I be subjected to letters like this?!?! I can't get past the Einstein thing ...

'I warned them. I said, if you allow one fan to scatter the ashes of loved ones, it's just going to open the floodgates.'

Therapist wearing a Yankees' cap talks with an upset patient wearing a Mets cap.