Yankees Fanatic Gifts

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, Why are you a Yankees fan? Purple pinstripes are WAY better than blue ones. Go Rockies! See ya in the series this year! -Love, prettyinpurple. *(Actual reader letter) Ask Sadie at rudy@rudypark.com. Why do I like the Yankees, Rudy? Dunno. Why do I like Cuban cigars, 100-year-old port, John Wayne, Albert Einstein rubbing my feet while I bathe in salt from THE DEAD SEA?! Um ... Why must I be subjected to letters like this?!?! I can't get past the Einstein thing ...

Bowled over again!

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Ancient Landmarks of New York City

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

Alternative fielding positions

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

'I shoulda told you guys. . . Marmaduke makes up his own rules as we go along.'

Currently Boston

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

Sheltering in place.

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

Maps to the homes of guys with friends who know some of the limo drivers of the personal trainers of the stars.

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

I can just feel it. I know they're talking about me.

"Oh, how I wish the season would start!"

"Slugger goes yard!!!"

"We really have to catch up on our New Yorkers."

'Is that the look of love or the look of hearing a home run on your bluetooth?'

This is great, Ernie, there's a pennant race and the ballpark is packed every day! The food selection here is unmatched anywhere! Today I've already had nachos, a bit of hot dog and some ice cream! Coming here always makes me queasy! Oh, the foods too much for you? No, I just get nervous in a place where the term "sacrifice fly" is used!

Please Do Not Throw Cups of Beer At The Players... It's A Waste of Beer.'

'Dad says I can't come out tonight. It's some sort of infield fly rule.'

"As your attorney, I must strongly advise you against bringing the high heat."

'I am beginning my windup now. ... Drum roll, please.'

'Give us another minute, blue. The surgeon just reattached the tendon and he's closing up.'

'Here comes my homey...'

Sign Him.

For Joe Ninth, 2 out, bases loaded, finally innings, scores tied, this was his moment.

'Talk to my lawyer.'

"Yin and Yankee fan"

"And for a left-handed designated hitter and a player to be named later, Mr. Steinbrenner would gladly fly Elián home."

Successful Baseball Teams Rely on a Good Pharm System.

"Sosa's great, but McGwire is my hero."

Octopus in the bleachers.