Yankees Fan Gifts

"Let's show Mr. Steinbrenner what you can do."

"My parents want me to have a bar mitzvah in Israel, but I'd rather have it in Yankee Stadium."

'You can be President when you grow up. I'm going to make a lot of money playing shortstop for the Yankees.'

Baseball player NY Yankee - being interviewed while wearing 3-D prescription glasses.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

'I shoulda told you guys. . . Marmaduke makes up his own rules as we go along.'

Sheltering in place.

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

I can just feel it. I know they're talking about me.

"My world is Tribeca, lars, and yours is a different world."

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

Monster Baseball

"Oh, how I wish the season would start!"

"Slugger goes yard!!!"

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

"Got him up at the stadium, Chief. It was Yankee Duck Day."

'Watch out, Dewey! Cow pie!'

"Slide, Howie!!! Slide!"

'Dad says I can't come out tonight. It's some sort of infield fly rule.'

This is great, Ernie, there's a pennant race and the ballpark is packed every day! The food selection here is unmatched anywhere! Today I've already had nachos, a bit of hot dog and some ice cream! Coming here always makes me queasy! Oh, the foods too much for you? No, I just get nervous in a place where the term "sacrifice fly" is used!

Please Do Not Throw Cups of Beer At The Players... It's A Waste of Beer.'

'Is that the look of love or the look of hearing a home run on your bluetooth?'

'He's not a skilled pitcher. In fact, he throws like a nerd...'

"As your attorney, I must strongly advise you against bringing the high heat."

'Time out! He needs a hug!!'

'The nurse wanted you to pee in THIS type of cup.'

'I am beginning my windup now. ... Drum roll, please.'

What would happen if Shakespeare lived centuries later and tried being a baseball umpire? Out, damned spot! Out, I say! Can you explain the infield fly rule. It is madness yet there is method in it! What's in a name? A rose by any other name would hit as sweet! Fair is foul, and foul is fair. You should stick to writing.

"Yin and Yankee fan"

'Here comes my homey...'