Die-hard Yankees Fan Gifts

Yankee Stadium.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

No Baseball

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

'I shoulda told you guys. . . Marmaduke makes up his own rules as we go along.'

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

"Goal!"

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

Sheltering in place.

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

I can just feel it. I know they're talking about me.

"Slugger goes yard!!!"

"Oh, how I wish the season would start!"

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

Please Do Not Throw Cups of Beer At The Players... It's A Waste of Beer.'

This is great, Ernie, there's a pennant race and the ballpark is packed every day! The food selection here is unmatched anywhere! Today I've already had nachos, a bit of hot dog and some ice cream! Coming here always makes me queasy! Oh, the foods too much for you? No, I just get nervous in a place where the term "sacrifice fly" is used!

"We really have to catch up on our New Yorkers."

'Dad says I can't come out tonight. It's some sort of infield fly rule.'

'Is that the look of love or the look of hearing a home run on your bluetooth?'

"As your attorney, I must strongly advise you against bringing the high heat."

'I am beginning my windup now. ... Drum roll, please.'

'Give us another minute, blue. The surgeon just reattached the tendon and he's closing up.'

World Cup Fan.

Sign Him.

For Joe Ninth, 2 out, bases loaded, finally innings, scores tied, this was his moment.

'...I mean, kicked out of the game is serious, but kicked off the planet?'

'Talk to my lawyer.'

"Yin and Yankee fan"

"And for a left-handed designated hitter and a player to be named later, Mr. Steinbrenner would gladly fly Elián home."

'Here comes my homey...'

Successful Baseball Teams Rely on a Good Pharm System.

"Sosa's great, but McGwire is my hero."

Octopus in the bleachers.