Crystallography Nerd Gifts

Employment recruitment aptitude test

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

Ascent of Machine.

"Why bother?"

"With less ice these days this provides better camouflage."

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

Conflating Science and Grammar. The boy threw the ball. What grammatical role does "ball" play in this sentence? An object in motion!

Venn Diagram: DIamonds

"I'm an evolution denier. There's no way those people come from us."

Neil Armstrong Outtakes

Dog forced to return bone

Vaccine

Naked Mole Rat

'Okay, I see it now...lame in the third hind leg on the left side!'

Free Radicals.

Charles Darwin

Worries of the first single cell organism. Should I divide? Maybe I won't like my other self! Maybe it won't like me! Two might be nice company. Three, though, that could be crowded.

"No son of mine is going into entomology."

"Nasty sunburn."

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

"I get the strange feeling this has happened before."

'Those were the days, eh Grandpa?'

'What'll I do with the nuclear wastes?'

"Of course you'll study Latin. How else will you learn the names of your dinosaur friends."

Asteroid Denying Dinosaur vs. Asteroid Believing Dinosaur.

Professor Swizzlestix explains his point....

'But we just don't have the technology to carry it out.'

"This is the 'carboniferous' age and we're here in the 'Carbs-Are-Really-Bad-For-Us' Age."

"Dopamine Casino. Gambling that makes you feel like gambling."

'It's not the global warming it's the humidity.'

"My first Father's day!"

'It's amazing what they can do with amino acids these days.'

I'm not insulting you --- You are a fatty acid!

"Caution: this drug cases dizziness in mice, gastrointestinal problems in rabbits, headaches in chickens, photo-sensitivity in monkeys, drowsiness in hamsters..."

Scientist in the department of energy: 'So far, so good, sir - we've learned how to make garbage out of oil.'