Crowd Whisperer Gifts

"It's not the crowd control that worries me...it's the changing ends at half time"

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

"Nope, I still only have one bar."

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

I'm trying to read your test results from urology, but their server can only stream them a little bit at a time.

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

'...and that is my philosophy.'

Man and Machine snoozing

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

'That cloud doesn't look like a horse to me, but if I import it into Photoshop...'

"Look, the numbers don't lie."

Perhaps we could get the Saatchis to pain a pretty picture.

We don't want statistics that reflect the actual market situation. We want statistics that reflect what was decided in this boardroom!

'Things just haven't been the same around here since people starting saving files in the cloud.'

'Right here is where your imaging data is clogging up all of your bandwidth.'

'There's a teddy and a pony... and that one looks like medulla oblongata!'

"Can you help me? I'm having a little trouble working the shredder."

"I made my first million tech consulting explaining the cloud to clients."

I can read this audit, but HOW should I read it...What is my MOTIVATION, how do I bring these figures to life,make them sing!... Colin often wondered whether accountancy had been the right career choice for him

Psychiatrist interview an irrational number

'It's not working because it claims it can think and has decided not to.'

"I think we might already have lost the next set of graduates, they don't see us offering a career path..."

'Oh great, a machine with an attitude.'

"On Monday, they will introduce a new office layout and you'll be near Judy, who isn't good at sharing her charger. . ."

"We ran the numbers on how climate change will affect economic growth, but the numbers got so spooked they just kept running."

"He works well with everyone except customers and co-workers."

'Then again - no pain, no gain.'

"It's important to see 'beyond the obvious' when you look at a customer. . ."

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

Plug Me In Stupid

'Mom, Dad, it's nice of you to visit me at the store, but you know, I am working.'

"Don't worry Sir, you're not the first person to ask for a refund and you probably won't be the last!"

"No, not there! It'll block out all our light!"