Audience Whisperers Gifts

'They say the secret to public speaking is to pick out one person in the audience and talk to him.' 'Well, did you?' 'Yeah. Unfortunately the person I picked out was snickering, pointing and whispering to the guy next to him.'

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

"Just be yourself."

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

Compression

Quiz Night...

Open Mike for the spotlight operators

"Matt, you look like you just saw a ghost who fired you!"

We don't want statistics that reflect the actual market situation. We want statistics that reflect what was decided in this boardroom!

'Interactive TV news.'

Having It All

"Just got back from the client meeting and great news. . . your work isn't dead. It's beaten senseless and run over by a dump truck...but still very much alive."

"On Monday, they will introduce a new office layout and you'll be near Judy, who isn't good at sharing her charger. . ."

"Where do you see yourself in five moves?"

"This is very mysterious. I can't seem to pick up anything at all about you, but I see 'Ivan the Terrible' coming to the Thalia."

"He likes to make clients feel important..."

'Hold it, you can cancel that STAT call.'

"For gosh sakes, Mike! Will you please quit interrupting me while I eavesdrop on Mary's gossipy remarks to Bill during Jean's important presentation?"

Playing dead is easy, but when they ask me to speak, I have to imagine them in their underwear.

At the school of ventriloquism.

'I've started an Employee Recognition Program. I know who you are.'

Depending on somebody else to do something right phobia: 'You mean nobody knows where they put the fuse box?'

'It has been brought to my attention that some of us are not working at maximum efficiency.'

Soft Speaker, Loud Speaker, Deafening Speaker

Public speaking

'So, I see you're a good listener.'

"I'm from the Duvall Executive Search Agency, and I leave no stone unturned."

"Mum, you've put it on mute with sub-titles!"

'Please stop talking to the media, Doctor. It's my job to make any rash statements.'

'Our poll shows the typical advertising viewer is all 'targeted' out.'

'Wow! Hariis never really let's a potential client go, does he?'

'I'm not sure what to do with you. You had a customer complaint this morning, then, a few minutes ago, you got a customer compliment...I guess they balance each other out.'

A billboard that reads "Elect Fletcher Hopwith - Candidate of the media".

"Our work is all about communication, we need to have an empathy for our clients."

'What size would you like ma'am...e-mail, blog, or world wide web?'