Audience Whisperer Gifts

'I've never been good at public squeaking!'

"Just be yourself."

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

Compression

Quiz Night...

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

Open Mike for the spotlight operators

"Matt, you look like you just saw a ghost who fired you!"

"Now all we need is a good script."

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

Duplass Brothers

"Just got back from the client meeting and great news. . . your work isn't dead. It's beaten senseless and run over by a dump truck...but still very much alive."

"Your first job is to learn to recognize your boss' voice on the phone."

"On Monday, they will introduce a new office layout and you'll be near Judy, who isn't good at sharing her charger. . ."

"Where do you see yourself in five moves?"

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

Cellular Plan

"He likes to make clients feel important..."

"This is very mysterious. I can't seem to pick up anything at all about you, but I see 'Ivan the Terrible' coming to the Thalia."

"For gosh sakes, Mike! Will you please quit interrupting me while I eavesdrop on Mary's gossipy remarks to Bill during Jean's important presentation?"

"I keep getting the feeling I’m being watched."

Always stick to the script.

At the school of ventriloquism.

Playing dead is easy, but when they ask me to speak, I have to imagine them in their underwear.

Advertising Agency - "Phew! Fooling some of the people all the time is hard work."

'I've started an Employee Recognition Program. I know who you are.'

'They say the secret to public speaking is to pick out one person in the audience and talk to him.' 'Well, did you?' 'Yeah. Unfortunately the person I picked out was snickering, pointing and whispering to the guy next to him.'

'It has been brought to my attention that some of us are not working at maximum efficiency.'

Soft Speaker, Loud Speaker, Deafening Speaker

'So, I see you're a good listener.'

"I'm from the Duvall Executive Search Agency, and I leave no stone unturned."

'Good morning, This is receptionist Susan, portal to the boss.'

Public speaking

'Wow! Hariis never really let's a potential client go, does he?'