Critics Unite Gifts

"Apparently he only uses fugitive colours."

"See..? We told you there was nothing there..."

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"The state of graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my colleegs agrree that there maths isn't much better."

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"

Learn to Be a Critic In The Privacy Of Your Own Home With The Apex Correspondence School Of Criticism!

BOOKS ON VIDEO/BOOKS ON TAPE/READ YOUR OWN.

Theodore Dreiser.

Bureaucrats held up by the workers.

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

"I have never ever heard Dante rhymed quite like that with ricochet before. Bravo Professor Firenze, you have moved our hearts!"

Charlie Beck Loves Austin Beutner

"Hot off the wire! In the latest poll, 99% of voters say they will be glad when the election is over... The poll has an error rate of plus or minus 2%."

"I don't have any opinions, and my wife things whatever Oprah thinks,."

Sherlock Holmes' tax return

'Occupy Wall Street protesters?'

"Yeah, but no progress in meeting..."

"Today on the ask Sadie show, we'll be addressing one single topic: 'Wolverine.' Specifically, we'll be talking about how most of you freaks who were obsessed with it for months are no longer talking about it. You people today have the attention span of a chimpanzee!!! That's an average of about 20 seconds, for those of you who still remember what I just said."

'Honey, do you want to watch Dancing With the Stars, or the news showing Congress dancing all around the tough issues?'

The eye of a painter and ear of a musician are good, but why did you bring a writer's shoe? The sole of a poet.

So what's your back story? What do you do? Marketing. Downtown. House of Java.net Cybercafe. I'm an investor in The Infant Restaurant Critic. Heard of it? A baby goes to a restaurants and cafes and tried their food. If he likes it, the eatery gets a glowing online review. If not, curtains! I'm an investor. I'm on the ground floor! Did you only ask about me so you could then talk about yourself? I hear you. You're asking about me. Don't know what's worse: Men, high-tech investors, or the combinat

It's well done, but I find it hard to stay interested since they cut down to just 13 episodes per season.

'I hate these commerical breaks!'

Virtual interview.

Soap Opera

"This is like the time you had me sell water as a 'diet drink'."

"But is it art?"

In doctor's surgery: 'I'm terribly worried, doctor...he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly anymore.'

'Never, Ever...believe everything you read.'

Julian Assange

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The Daily Planet: The Newspaper that listen to you.

"Baldo, negative stereotypes that insult people serve no purpose! What people really want is thoughtful, family-oriented material."

"Remind me again, did the President say that or was it the Kardashians?"