Criminal System Gifts

Parole officer: Hanging in and hanging out.

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'

When Engineers Crack.

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

"You're either lying or not telling the truth."

Minority Report

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."

"You moved two spaced and then one space to the side? Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, that sure sounds illegal."

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

The Jose Padilla Experience

Police Statetion

Do Guns Kill?

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"After the judicial system, I'm my own harshest critic."

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

American blood

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

Mobsters at the Beach

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'