Criminal Minds Gifts

"Were our business legitimate, gentlemen, this would be considered legal."

"I used to be your old school teacher, I always said you would amount to nothing."

'Ah Mr Bond, I haven't been expecting you...'

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

'I haven't spent a day in jail since I got rid of my lawyer and hired a spinmeister.'

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

Evidence of the Mythic Unicornbrowcycle,

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

X-RAY

"Paper or plastic?"

Overcrowding's becoming a real problem in our penal system

'See, Jimmy, as the population grows too dense, the rats begin to brutalize each other...'

"Cops don't get me. Sure, they got me – but they'll ever get me."

Our cover is francophile liberals

"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"

Prisoner Crossing

"Okay, you play dead. 1-2-3 Go!"

"You just said, ‘And then I killed my first and second husbands.’ ... Let's explore that."

"You can lie to the prosecutor but don't ever lie to your co-conspirators."

'I'm in for burglarizing a store, but I got a reduced sentence because I only stole sale items.'

'I'm just saying... Maybe we're over doing the old 'good cop, bad cop' routine.'

Monkey Business

'Lewis and Cabrini.'

Trilby - 'Taffy was allowed to see Gecko'.

Parachuting with Concrete Shoes

'Aghh! I've been visited by the Russian mafia.'

Tree with Drain Pipe

'I don't understand. Why do you want to have your arms extended?'

"My client will not answer that question as it presupposes his sanity."

'You've not been involved with money laundering before have you Joe!'

'Your disgusting behaviour has been almost human in nature!'

Change of crime for a bored criminal

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

Signs reads 'Do Not Feed the Boids.'