Criminal Minds Aficionado Gifts

Change of crime for a bored criminal

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

The Elliot Ness monster.

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

"You're not grandma at all! In fact, I think this is a case of identity theft!"

'They're very proud of me. I'm the first in my family to be convicted of a white-collar crime.'

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

"Undiagnosed serial killer"

The Investigation

Ancient Egyptian crime scenes.

'Make it look like an accident.'

"You can lie to the prosecutor but don't ever lie to your co-conspirators."

Fake Counterfeit Money

'Aghh! I've been visited by the Russian mafia.'

"I almost got away with it! Then somebody called in the SWAT team!"

Arrest of La Tuta

'Sure we've got a lot of anger. We also got a lot cement.'

"I believe this is a case for Sherlock Holmes..."

"Your Honor, I wish to introduce as Exhibit A this bullet with the victim's name on it."

The Mousetrap, by Agatha Christie

'Tonight's special presentation, 'The Myth of the Mafia,' was made possible by a grant from the Gambino family.'

"Convicts selling novels from prison? At least that could never happen here, eh Jones?"

"The robber was about 5' 11"...."

"Any clues?"

'Emotional blackmail.'

'Same tragic story...A disgruntled athletic trainer burst into the locker room and starts taping players at random...'

Cufflinks + Handcuffs = Embezzlement

'Gee... Nothing says 'I'm dead' like a severed head.'

"Do you have anything for DNA stains?"

Narcomexico