Crime Traveler Gifts

Police sketch artist drawing class.

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

"Tell them we only have romaine!"

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

"Legs together, David -- You're hamspreading again."

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

"Don't editorialize."

Vaccination Passport

Lenin, Anticipating His Arrival at Finland Station, Sees His Baggage Taken Off at Beloostrov.

"Number 2. Step forward please."

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

'Keep an eye on that one. He looks like a sketchy character to me.'

A white collar cow.

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

'The police is looking for a teenager who reads books... I bet they'll never solve this case!'

"Take your time, sir. Tell me if you can see the thief."

Rail travel - the environmental alternative (that sometimes doesn't allow bikes)

'It's a great job, but the commuting is murder!'

When travelling with her cat by plane, train, or bus, dawn always ensured no one would bother them.

'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'

Police man stands guard at a murder scene in Egyptology department of a museum.

"They're worse than carpenter ants. We have hacker ants."

"You've traveled all this way just to score some pot? Okay—How much do you want?"

"They've solved the cause of death of Richard III."

Ignorance of the Law

Gangster's To-Do List

'I thought I'd never say this, but I think we might've traveled too far this time!'

'Anything to declare?'

'And upon landing the pilot will give everyone in first class a hug.'

"Don't worry, honey. This is just for our murder podcast."