Chaotic Traveler Gifts

The Feng Shui of the road must be off.

Airline board reads: "NO ONE KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK'S GOING ON SO DON'T EVEN ASK."

Excess Baggage: The younger the traveler, the greater the amount of luggage required.

The great big holiday to-do list.

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

Airplane Mode.

Injured backpacker.

Mark's new invention worked great for long car rides. '...And then she said,and then I said, and then she said to me...'

Are we evolved yet? Are we evolved yet? Are we evolved yet?

It's always the same dream. I'm in therapy, analyzing my recurring dream.

Stonehenge Books

'This reminds me of something funny. Remember the day I was shopping in that china shop and suddenly sneezed?'

'I don't like to question your map reading dear, but could you have another look at the last left turn?'

Left and Right: Please be consistent.

'I think we took a wrong turn at Sodom or Gomoorah.'

Going on Holiday with Kids

Museum of 70's counter-culture

"How much for just the ring?"

At Travel Agent - "We're interested in a no-diarrhea itinery."

"They say there's no cannibalism on the island, but they're willing to give it a try."

'Another one of your screw-ups! You were supposed to get us a rental car!'

'I forgot my keys!'

'Benny wanted a closed casket service...but, since you traveled so far to be here...I can give you a quick peek for ten dollars.'

Excess Baggage: Perhaps you should have washed those clothes before returning home form your overseas vacation.

"Nothing beats going abroad to discover new types of cheese: you have to try Camel Cheese!"

Carl's Glass- Bottom Bus Tours

'Ultra High Occupancy Lane, 300 Persons per Car.'

A man hunting in gale of wind

"Amid rampant crime, political instability, frequent attacks by nationalist guerrillas, and numerous endemic diseases, I assure you there is no chance of boredom in this exotic tourist destination."

'Hey mister, you can't smoke in here.'

Car pool lane.

"We'd prefer the sort of place where we won't catch any disfiguring diseases or be killed by fanatics."

"That's it, Lucille! No more mystery destination tours!"

'Before I escort you to your hotel, would you like to see Brest?'

'This massage chair's impossible - all I do is sit there and worry about missing a flight.'