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"Admit it, we're lost."

"My barber was robbed the other day. He's still pretty shook up about it."

'Raise your right hand if you wish to help us with our enquiries... SPLENDID!'

"Damn it, Flopsy, you've cost me another bust."

'There doesn't seem to be any foul play. I think we have a simple case of two ships passing in the night.'

"It's the updated version."

Jailed mouse.

"Hey, dump that in the East River where it belongs."

'Don't shoot - they're an endangered species!'

"I suspect that you faked this burglary...Mr Houdini!"

'I don't care if they do help you remember which role you're supposed to be playing. Take them off!'

"I didn't know it was illegal to plagiarize and alibi"

'You know too much,'

Mistaken Identity Theft

'How do you feel about riding a galloping horse alongside a moving train?'

"I told you we should have had separate trials."

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

'It's not much of a story. Grew up dirt-poor. Started my own landscaping business. Stole some dirt.'

'Actually, that's our 'ten most wanted' poster.'

Deadly combinations...

Prison Escape

Bob broke open DVD boxed sets - then resold the individual disks. A senseless crime - in that it made no sense.

The Godfather Sends Chess Master Bobby Fischer a Message. . .

A big break for officers working identity theft.

hard-boiled egg...

'Where was I on the night of the 7th of August? I was home washing my hair.'

'Everybody put your hands in the air, this is a screw-up!'

"I should have realised she'd poisoned my dinner. It tasted much nicer than usual."

'Hey, Hank... are you aka Julius Kelly?'

"It helps when he calls it a 'business plan.'"

'Then - badabing! - it hit me: IRS National HQ - the Feds are never going to find us!'

"Sorry, we no longer accept plastic. Don't you have a real gun?"

"Okay, so your Son ran in shouting for an axe. Then what happened?"

Thief approaches car with 'No Radio' sign. He steals car and leaves 'No Car' sign.

'If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times -- Bank robbers don't need business cards!'