Crime Story Aficionado T-Shirts

'Identity theft, eh? -- Just who do you think you are?'

'Dis new software makes our jobs simple! Right here is who ya gotta whack. Here is where ya gotta whack 'em. DIS is WHEN you gotta whack 'em...'

'Same tragic story...A disgruntled athletic trainer burst into the locker room and starts taping players at random...'

'But I learned a valuable lesson: before you put out a contract on anyone, be sure to read the fine print.'

"We're having to cut back on overheads...print yourself some redunancy money."

'I'm getting hungry...'

'Sure, I'm a criminal psychopath, but look at all the JOBS I created!'

Money Laundering in New York City

"But if I take the fifth, wouldn't that be admitting I robbed the liquor store?"

'He's a gun dog!'

No dumping.

"OK, lad - bring along the murder weapon."

"He obviously doesn't realise this drug is a placebo." "She obviously doesn't realise this money is a placebo."

'I'm learning to make do and mend...'

'Atlantis mob hit'

Feeding The Lions At The Zoo

'Can he call you back? He's being read his Miranda rights!'

'Let's face it,George-your pound notes are fooling nobody!'

"Hey, neighbour. It's too early in the year to plant a garden."

"He's just trying to make us look foolish."

"He was a top boy - he could light up a room just by setting fire to it."

'Can I have that in travelers' checks?'

'What do you mean, you hear a burglar downstairs?'

'I didn't have time to change out of my work clothes.'

'Well, I'd best be off, Arthur, the clink of glasses behind bars and all that...'

Mr Potatohead in the witness protection program.

Dinosaur bone fossils suspected of animal attack at museum!

And for sport we've goot a spittoon.

Rodin's Mafia Victim

'Tell us how you really finance this free egg give away scam and we might be willing to cut you a deal.'

'I like my plea bargain better. I plead guilty and you dismiss the charges.'

Jeweller - Valuables Removed Nightly.

Murder Mystery Pop-Up Book

'You gotta help me, Doc! -- money is no object!'

Bad Bread