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'But I learned a valuable lesson: before you put out a contract on anyone, be sure to read the fine print.'

'Identity theft, eh? -- Just who do you think you are?'

'Same tragic story...A disgruntled athletic trainer burst into the locker room and starts taping players at random...'

"OK, lad - bring along the murder weapon."

"He obviously doesn't realise this drug is a placebo." "She obviously doesn't realise this money is a placebo."

No dumping.

'He's a gun dog!'

'I'm learning to make do and mend...'

'Can he call you back? He's being read his Miranda rights!'

"But if I take the fifth, wouldn't that be admitting I robbed the liquor store?"

'Atlantis mob hit'

Feeding The Lions At The Zoo

Money Laundering in New York City

'Sure, I'm a criminal psychopath, but look at all the JOBS I created!'

'I'm getting hungry...'

"We're having to cut back on overheads...print yourself some redunancy money."

'What do you mean, you hear a burglar downstairs?'

'Can I have that in travelers' checks?'

'I like my plea bargain better. I plead guilty and you dismiss the charges.'

'You gotta help me, Doc! -- money is no object!'

Bad Bread

Murder Mystery Pop-Up Book

Jeweller - Valuables Removed Nightly.

'Tell us how you really finance this free egg give away scam and we might be willing to cut you a deal.'

Rodin's Mafia Victim

'Let's face it,George-your pound notes are fooling nobody!'

And for sport we've goot a spittoon.

Dinosaur bone fossils suspected of animal attack at museum!

'Well, I'd best be off, Arthur, the clink of glasses behind bars and all that...'

'I didn't have time to change out of my work clothes.'

A man becomes the latest victim a killer vending machine.

"Define 'good'."

"That's your uncle Colin. He's the black sheep of the family."

"I'm afraid the tooth fairy is currently disposed, hand over your teeth."

Missing Poster: Have You Seen This Man?