Crime Novel Aficionado T-Shirts

'Just one more killing then I'll switch the light off.'

'If it's a mystery you're after, how about what the council are doing closing libraries?'

Pickpocketing woman has three arms.

"I've gathered you all here today, to find out who borrowed my Agatha Christie and never returned it."

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

The Elliot Ness monster.

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

Sherlock Holmes with a magnifying glass.

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

Crime in bookshop

"You're not grandma at all! In fact, I think this is a case of identity theft!"

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

"Ask the gumshoe. He'll tell ya the saucer was empty when I got there. Go on, gimme a purr detector test. I got all night."

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

'They're very proud of me. I'm the first in my family to be convicted of a white-collar crime.'

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

Police outline artist training academy: the intro 101 class.

"I'll never understand it. I followed the generally accepted principles of embezzling."

Oliver Twist - Oliver Introduced to Fagin

"This, Yorik... Do you know him well?"

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

"Now don't do anything flashy with the money, like pay off all your student loans at once."

"Undiagnosed serial killer"

The old good-cop, psycho-cop routine.

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

"By Ned, you're right, inspector—the body has been moved."

"Oh come on! How can you possibly know that it's Yorick without a proper forensic reconstruction?"

"I couldn't finish that book either."

"Let's try it again. Hand over your wallet, and this time, don't try anything funny."