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"I'll never understand it. I followed the generally accepted principles of embezzling."

'It's so embarrassing. The burglar has returned all the stuff he stole last night.'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

Sherlock Holmes with a magnifying glass.

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

"Ask the gumshoe. He'll tell ya the saucer was empty when I got there. Go on, gimme a purr detector test. I got all night."

"It was Saturday night. The clock on my office wall showed the time to be eleven-forty-five. There are times when a private eye does not necessarily feel like being a private eye. This was one of those times. The elevator door down the hall clanked open with a clank familiar to anyone on the fourth floor who had had an office on the fourth floor for as long as I had had an office on the fourth floor. Footsteps came down the darkened hall and stopped outside my door. They were the footsteps of a

Crime in bookshop

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

Police outline artist training academy: the intro 101 class.

Oliver Twist - Oliver Introduced to Fagin

"Now don't do anything flashy with the money, like pay off all your student loans at once."

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

"We've hit the jackpot! It's Ed Sheeran's songwriting formula."

"This, Yorik... Do you know him well?"

"Oh come on! How can you possibly know that it's Yorick without a proper forensic reconstruction?"

"I couldn't finish that book either."

"Let's try it again. Hand over your wallet, and this time, don't try anything funny."

Stand and Deliver

A spy

'This article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that.'

"Why are you always picking people who have pixellated heads?"

'Have you got any good 'whodunnits'...?'

Arrest of La Tuta

'I can't understand how those burglars could clean out our house so quietly.'

Diary of a DNA Cop

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

'The close Ops surveillance people have just sent these photo's over and we now strongly suspect that Jimmy the Greek is onto us...'

"We the jury find that the murder was committed by Colonel Mustard, in the library, with the candlestick!"

Burglar escapes from tower using Rapunzel's hair.

"Generally accepted accounting practices weren't as generally accepted as I thought."

'Where was I on the night of the 7th of August? I was home washing my hair.'

Two books from the crime passionel section in a library having sex