Crime Fiction Lover T-Shirts

"Big Tony's Web site—get rid of it."

'Would you like to 14% a year on that money? I'm an investment counselor.'

"Naughty Step"

"Tell him I say hi."

Stick to your Guns

Murder by Billiards

"Not now!"

'You were an English major, Ferguson -- how about helping me punch up my alibi?'

'The hours are short, there's no night work, and, best of all, you don't need a fence.'

Burglar escapes from tower using Rapunzel's hair.

Gangster on the phone to a criminal.

'Surprise, surprise, Wally the mole...'

'Selfishness is a virtue!'

"Actually, I used to manage a hedge fund. Then one day I thought to myself; why not just cut to the chase?

'And I can assure you - crime is not a problem in this neighbourhood.'

Illustration for 'A Dark Night's Work' - Frontispiece.

"You got to hand it to Bloody Eddy—it's the last place in the world you'd think of as a hide-out."

"And what do you see in this inkblot?"

"Number 2 please step forward and say GIVE ME ALL YOUR CHARMIN OR I'LL CLOBBER YOU."

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

'You know bank pens never work. Why didn't you write the holdup note before we left?!'

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

Cat Burglar

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

"'A body at rest'? -- Are you writing murder mysteries now, Isaac?"

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

Sherlock Holmes with a magnifying glass.

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

"Don't make me send in the bad cat."