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"Generally accepted accounting practices weren't as generally accepted as I thought."

Sherlock Holmes with a magnifying glass.

'Yes, that's him. That's the author of the book that grabbed me and wouldn't let go!'

"Don't give me too much, I'm not good with money."

'Say what you will about E-mail, video-conferencing and the like... There's still no substitute for a good face-to-face business meeting.'

"Please, don't hurt me—I have a wife, and I'm gradually becoming O.K. with the possibility of having children!"

'It's just until we get the lock fixed.'

"Oh come on! How can you possibly know that it's Yorick without a proper forensic reconstruction?"

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

'You took out a policy with us Tuesday morning and had a fire Tuesday afternoon...What was the delay?'

"If you can keep a secret, I'll tell you how my husband died."

'Could you try to look guilty, please?'

"I want to report a mugging."

"He was murdered with one of the rejection slips he sent."

'Great news, the burglars only took your stupid stamps.'

A spy

Stand and Deliver

"Ironically all the guys from the hunting lodge were on the 'Nice' list."

'This article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that.'

'This is fun, but sometimes I miss being a pillar of the community.'

Oliver Twist - Oliver Introduced to Fagin

"...And of course the asking price reflects the location..."

Burglar breaking a safe.

'Here Sid, and make it look like an accident.'

Sweating The Penguin

'I hear you had a big fire in your factory.'

Crime Stoppers

"He's been in a marvellous mood ever since he learned one out of every hundred and fifty Americans is in jail."

'How much would you charge to kill my husband'

"Hey, should we update his Facebook status?"

"I called my little book 'Making Money at Home in Your Spare Time.' The Feds called it counterfeiting."

Prison library. Whodunits. Youdunits.

*Sigh*

All right, now on the touch screen, hit "menu," then "doors," then "unlock."

"I was about your age when I, too, started having security concerns."