Crime Story Fan T-Shirts

"Look at this: Acupuncture, aromatherapy, herbal tea. We could be dealing with a homoeopathic killer."

"So, while extortion, racketeering, and murder may be bad acts, they don't make you a bad person."

"Oh-oh, we're in trouble!"

Why it's not always a good idea to wear your work uniform to court...

'We find the defendant guilty. I mean, why else would he go out and hire the best lawyer in town?'

"Just ignore the bad spelling. You'll get us all accused of discriminating against people with learning disabilities."

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

'Since you stole my identity I thought I'd bring you the rest of the package.'

'If I take out this policy on my wife and she dies tomorrow, what do I get?' - 'Life imprisonment.'

'Although most people think of it as something new, keyless entry technology has actually been around for hundreds of years!'

"Don't worry, we can handle all the arrangements for your husband. We can even make it look like an accident."

"Make it look like natural selection."

Please try again.

'You want some protection money? Oh, thank God. For a moment there I thought you were from the Inland Revenue.'

'I don't trust John since he took out that $100,000 life insurance policy on us.'

'I was fired last year, but I still get a check after I hacked into their payroll program.'

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

'Mark Antony addreses the mob'

Bob's photography.

'In the future, Farewell, I don't need to initial robbery notes.'

"Call my attorney and ask him if he remembers that trick for getting out of handcuffs without a key."

Change of crime for a bored criminal

'On your personals AD, you say you're a butcher . . . that's fascinating. Tell me about that . . .'

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

ATF - Gun smuggling scandal.

Midnight in the Vegetable Garden of Good and Evil.

"My advice is park it in Tijuana and leave the keys in."

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

Man gets mugged after leaving a loans company.

Carl had a bad leg and a bum knee...

Golf courses on the rough side of town.

Prison Library - Book on Escape with File Inside.

"You keep saying that you're a changed man, but if you do get that parole how can I know for sure you won't go back to robbing banks?"

'You're Dick Turpin, aren't you - can I have your autograph?'

Martha Stewart's punishment - "Well, if you ask me, it might have been worse. The court could have sentenced me to watch all my old television programs."