Crime Mystery Fan T-Shirts

"It's from the squirrels...they have the dog and will release him for one million peanuts!

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

Cat Burglar

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

"'A body at rest'? -- Are you writing murder mysteries now, Isaac?"

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

Minority Report

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

"Since he's been a plagiarist, committed perjury and runs a Ponzi scheme, trust can be an issue."

He's making a list --- Holmes solves cases quicker when he itemizes deductions.

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

Whodunnit. Whoreallydunnit.

"Tax evasion is like a cancer, it's growing exponentially!"

Sherlock Holmes with a magnifying glass.

'I hate frisking magicians!'

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

Miami Mice

"Ask the gumshoe. He'll tell ya the saucer was empty when I got there. Go on, gimme a purr detector test. I got all night."

'Hey, buddy -- can you keep a secret?'

Mobsters at the Beach

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

"Don't make me send in the bad cat."

The evidence destroyed

Lawn Order. It's a landscaping show about maintaining a tidy yard.

"Take your time. Do you see the person who made you wear that dress?"

'Careful, Mugsy, he's got a tool.'