Crime Novel Devotee T-Shirts

At Home with the Hard Boiled - "Hey Marsha how 'bout some bourbon..."

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

The Elliot Ness monster.

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

Cat Burglar

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

"'A body at rest'? -- Are you writing murder mysteries now, Isaac?"

The Philip Marlow family

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

Sherlock Holmes with a magnifying glass.

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

The evidence destroyed

'They're very proud of me. I'm the first in my family to be convicted of a white-collar crime.'

"You're not grandma at all! In fact, I think this is a case of identity theft!"

'I don't know officer: They all look alike to me...'

"Then leave the horses head in the Futon." Middle-class mafia

'I believe the murderer is in this very room.'

Crime in bookshop

"Don't make me send in the bad cat."

"I've been dumping bodies here for years, and it seems to me that the sea level is rising."

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

"Ask the gumshoe. He'll tell ya the saucer was empty when I got there. Go on, gimme a purr detector test. I got all night."

Police outline artist training academy: the intro 101 class.

'Mark Antony addreses the mob'

"I'll never understand it. I followed the generally accepted principles of embezzling."