Crime Novel Devotee T-Shirts

At Home with the Hard Boiled - "Hey Marsha how 'bout some bourbon..."

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

The Elliot Ness monster.

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

Cat Burglar

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

'Ah Mr Bond, I haven't been expecting you...'

The Philip Marlow family

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

"'A body at rest'? -- Are you writing murder mysteries now, Isaac?"

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

Whodunnit. Whoreallydunnit.

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

Sherlock Holmes with a magnifying glass.

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

"Don't make me send in the bad cat."

'They're very proud of me. I'm the first in my family to be convicted of a white-collar crime.'

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

"You're not grandma at all! In fact, I think this is a case of identity theft!"

"Then leave the horses head in the Futon." Middle-class mafia

'I don't care how you do it...just make it look like an accident.'

'I believe the murderer is in this very room.'

The evidence destroyed

"I've been dumping bodies here for years, and it seems to me that the sea level is rising."

"Ask the gumshoe. He'll tell ya the saucer was empty when I got there. Go on, gimme a purr detector test. I got all night."

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

Crime in bookshop

I always forget - Are we supposed to tip?

'I don't know officer: They all look alike to me...'

Mafia Short-Term Memory Clinic. 'Fuhgettaboutit.'

Police outline artist training academy: the intro 101 class.

'Mark Antony addreses the mob'